You've never met any celebrities -- other than Fred Thompson.
"Vacation" means going to the family reunion.
You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer, and Christmas.
You laugh when people from anywhere north of Tennessee try to say or spell "y'all."
It's "Mar-vull," not "Mary-ville."
It's "Knox-vull," not "Knox-ville."
A toboggan is a hat, not a sled.
You butter your hot biscuit by cutting it open, putting a slab of butter inside, and closing it back up again.
Pigeon Forge is not pronounced with a French accent.
Gatlinburg does have an "L" in it and it should be pronounced.
Sales tax is 9.75%.
You shop at Wal-Mart for groceries, not at a grocery store.
You don't drive in Knoxville on game day. EVER.
You or your friends chew.
You can't remember the last time you saw snow.
You know when Elvis Presley Day is.
You know all of the words to "Rocky Top."
You avoid going anywhere near Bristol Motor Speedway on race weekend.
You think it's worth it driving to Alabama just to save 1.25% on the sales tax.
You eat "dinner" at noon and "supper" in the evening.
Your Wal-Mart has specific parking spots for horses and buggies.
You use "commode" in conversations and absolutely no one knows what you're talking about.
You barely get snow days because there's hardly ever any snow. Better yet, you get snow days if your local weather stations predict even the slightest bit of snow!
You and everyone you know goes to one vacation spot: Panama City.
You know how to do the watermelon crawl.
Everything is COKE, and if you don't like it, tough. Ex: "You want a COKE?" "Sure." "Which kind?" "Dr. Pepper."
You're in a Carhartt jacket one day, shorts the next, and no one thinks anything about it.
Everyone you know owns a truck, and at least one of those trucks is just painted with primer or more colors than the rainbow.
You measure distance in minutes, not miles.
You drive through a rich neighborhood and see the wannabe redneck kids with their brand-new Fords and their designer holey jeans and cowboy hats.
Boomsday in Knoxville is equal to New Year's Eve at Times Square.
Knoxville becomes the third largest city every Saturday in the fall.
Sweet tea is THE DRINK...no questions, no exceptions. Most people from Tennessee begin drinking sweet tea even before they can drink out of sippy cups. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!
You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
You use "fix" as a verb. Example: "I'm fixing to go to the store."
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You know what a "DAWG" is.
You carry jumper cables in your car -- for your OWN car.
You own only four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco, and ketchup.
The local papers cover national and international news on one page but require six pages for local gossip and sports.
You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm."
Fried catfish is "the other white meat."
You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good pinto-bean weather.
You're convinced you don't need driver's ed -- your father's and uncles' pickup trucks were training enough.
Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
There are 5,000 types of snakes, and 4,998 live in Tennessee.
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Tennessee plus a couple no one's seen before.
If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
Onced and twiced are words.
It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy.
Fire ants consider your flesh a picnic.
People actually grow and eat okra.
"Fixinto" is one word.
Backards and forwards means "I know everything about you."
Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
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